35 THINGS THAT MAKE ME HUMANJul 20, 2022
So I saw this trend on social media awhile back and I legit love it. It was listing things that made you human - and NOT limiting it to the “pretty” or “nice” things. Like you know how if you get that interview question asking about your weaknesses, you always try to say something that can be spun to be a good thing? Yea, none of that here. Just raw vulnerability and honesty. Now, don’t get me wrong, some of these are gonna be lighthearted. But I just feel like we see too much of the highlight reel and not enough realness nowadays. Also, I wanna throw this out at the beginning: I would LOVE to hear even just a couple of yours! One of the things I realized while reading others’ lists (and something that I realize every time I travel) is that we are all WAY more alike than we think once we really show ourselves.
For starters, you get a bonus one right off the bat…because I wrote the vast majority of this in JANUARY and intended to publish it for my 35th bday (You may have noticed I do a vulnerable post about myself for my bday every year)…which was Feb 23rd. But I don’t do well with being told I HAVE to do something without a solid reason behind it…including when it’s me telling me. I will rebel even against myself if there isn’t a good WHY or purpose. And I had some damn good “whys” to not get this out in a timely manner (things like I needed to study for a specialty board exam, needed to focus on teaching engagements, this isn’t “important” like something that’s educational, yada yada yada). And then life got in the way and I completely forgot about this until I opened up my blog drafts to see what titles I had saved to write about #facepalm
Ok, here’s the actual list. It’ll be kinda all over the board, but here goes nothing….
1. It took me a long time to realize and admit that I was an Enneagram 7. For so long I thought I was a 5... Turns out that’s just what my upbringing conditioned me to be. And then the reason I “fought” being a 7 is they aren’t often seen as ones to take seriously. They are stereotypically the class clown vs the smart one. Note, I said stereotype. But honestly, that’s often not true and after meeting some badass 7s, and an assessment with Tracy O’Malley (aka the Enneagram Queen), I finally got out of that thinking. I truly am a 7 (“the enthusiast”), even though I am more academic, introverted, and introspective than the stereotypes may suggest
2. I love singing and you’ll know I’m comfortable around you when I’ll actually sing around you
3. I love socializing and working with patients, but there are days where I really wish I didn’t have to deal with any humans. #introvert #puppysareokthough
4. My upbringing led me to believe that words of affirmation didn’t mean much to me (rarely heard I love you and only heard “I’m proud of you” twice that I can think of) When in fact I realized relatively recently that it’s actually towards the top of my Love Languages list. The lack of hearing it growing up is also why I will say it.
5. A friend once aptly described me as “10 feet tall and bulletproof” - I had such walls up for most of my life and I only started learning how to truly let people in around age 30. And took me until 34 to let that include true connection and friendship with females (I had them before, but I had created such a story in my head that I unintentionally hindered the connection possible) I’m still very proud of how strong I am and I’m grateful for the protection my mind gave me all those years, but I’m also so grateful that I don’t need it as much anymore.
6. I truly believe that vulnerability and communication are key to really anything in life. Emotions are not a weakness, nor does showing them always mean that the person is triggered. I am definitely a “heart on sleeve” person.
7. First time I ever felt self-love was Oct 2020, and since then I can truly say I love myself (Though I still don’t like myself when I make mistakes- no one will ever be as hard on me as I am on myself). Oh, and I was so subconsciously resistant to this apparently that it took a guided therapeutic psychedelic trip to break through and finally feel self-love. Feel free to ask me any questions about that…
8. Quickest way to see a scary side of me is to come at someone I care about. I’m super loyal and protective.
9. I’m a bit of a control freak about some things and utterly messy about others.
10. I don’t seem to be able to eat my morning protein bar and greens drink without getting chocolate and greens powder all over myself and the kitchen.
11. I will very often say say “huh?” or “what?” immediately when someone says something to me…when if I just waited a damn second for my brain to catch up and process, I heard them the first time #facepalm
12. Dance is one of my favorite ways to express myself. And I do this weird shimmy bounce thing whenever I’m genuinely happy. You’ve probably seen me do it if we’ve ever gotten good food together
13. I care more about what others think than I’d like to admit. (though I’m getting better at letting go) #workinprogress
14. I don’t trust people-pleasers because I never know if their “yes” is legit. And if I don’t trust someone, I will actively distance myself from them, whether it be conscious or subconscious.
15. I have no idea if I wanna be a mom or not, but I know I don’t want kids right now. I used to think being a mom was a major life goal, but I’m currently in the process of trying to figure out if that’s truly what I want or just a goal I created because of societal expectations (please refer back to caring what other people think. I deeply just wanted to be seen and appreciated as a kid)
16. (Disclaimer for this next one: I have zero true thoughts of self harm) Sometimes while driving, I catch myself wondering “what if I just drove off this cliff?” (this is something that I used to take as a sign of me being crazy…but it was surprising how many things similar to this I saw in others’ lists! I’m def not alone here and wanted to add this to mine in case any of you also feel crazy)
17. I get SO much joy seeing other people shine and go for what they want. You emit a different energy then and it’s contagious. Seriously.
18. I overthink and overexplain everything. Yes, I know that’s generally a trauma response (and it is in my case). Yes, I’m actively working on it
19. I often feel guilty when I’m not being productive (in the traditional societal sense). Like viscerally guilty.
20. I have body dysmorphia and am still working on loving my body consistently. Some days/moments are better than others.
21. Nature is my happy place, and whenever I need a reset, you can find me there, probably by myself.
22. I’m very comfortable doing things solo and have found a lot of growth in that. (I also think everyone should solo travel at least once)
23. I love wandering the grocery store. No idea why. It’s also the only time I can’t seem to multitask.
24. I have ADHD, but I don’t like being labeled. #buckthesystem
25. If any one tells me I can’t do something, my response is “watch me”. (Downfall is this sometimes distracts me from what I ACTUALLY want to do)
26. I love creating, but unless it’s “perfect” I won’t show others. Ok, maybe. I’m working on being ok with showing imperfection.
27. Still not sure how I feel about astrology, but the Pisces stuff is often pretty damn fitting.
28. I hate the cold, but LOVE snowboarding. And cold plunges. Well, how I feel AFTER cold plunges
29. I’m obsessed with cozy blankets and cuddling. Even though I don’t sit still well.
30. I go into “practitioner mode” (ie professional speak) when I’m uncomfortable or unsure. This includes around new people.
31. I love immediately getting the day started as soon as I wake up. I also become basically useless in the afternoon unless I’m still just on the go from the morning. But if I break and slow down around then? Ha. Game over for a couple hours.
32. I love celebrating others, esp birthdays, or really any accomplishment (baby, new biz launch, house , etc) and secretly get hurt when people forget mine.
33. I’m definitely a rebel, but also just enough of a rule follower (very risk aware). Sometimes this is a strength, sometimes not…and often creates some internal conflict lol
34. I’m very much a free bird. It took me a long time to not feel guilty about the selfish connotations that come with being someone who will do what they want when they want (I have a family member that would say that to me with a sneer like it was something horrible). But at the same time I will drop absolutely everything and run to someone in need. They come first in that moment no questions asked
35. When I envision my “higher self” I see myself speaking on stages. Literally no idea (yet) what about or how I get there. I do know that I LOVE being a teacher in the continuing education and doctoral student spaces (for those that may not know, I do that already along with working in clinic), so I guess in reality, it’s not that far off base. (I’ve also done several podcasts on a wide variety of topics, all listed here). But the first time I had this vision, I wasn’t even in the teaching space and I hadn’t done any podcasts - I was just a clinician in corporate healthcare, so it completely threw me off and made me question my career path for a couple months. Esp since I actually think it’ll be less PT related and more about how to find your purpose through grief/loss. Who knows…
Bonus: I love clothes that are bright and loud. Particularly shiny and/or hot pink. And it took me until very recently, like within the last 6 months, to admit that. I’m aware how silly that seems. But I’ve always identified as more of a tomboy than a girly girl and somewhere along the line, I let society tell me I couldn’t be both. Well now I say I can be everything and anything I want to be. Even seemingly contradictory things. My 35th birthday outfit speaks for itself (photo below)
PHEW. That was a lot. Some of it vulnerable and some of it just fun. If you made it this far 1. Props. that was a lot. 2. THANK YOU. It honestly means a lot that you cared enough to read all of that. 3. I would LOVE to know what resonated with you and/or something about YOU that makes YOU human!! Drop a comment below or just shoot me a message on here or on my IG (Better yet, do an IG post with a list of your own and tag me! Let’s get this trend going again!)
Much love fam,
PS if you’re curious about the past birthday ones, here’s one.
Dressed up for my 35th birthday dinner with my girls!